A Painful Goodbye.

In the wee hours of this morning, we received a dreaded phone call: Our friend D lost his fight against brain cancer.

After the initial shock wore off, we cried. Held each other and wept.

And again I am faced with the shocking and disheartening revelation that the more people you love, the more loss you face.

I find minimal comfort in knowing that he is no longer suffering. Minimal only because those of us left behind suffer now. I smile a little, knowing that he was surrounded by his family when his end came. But then I frown for I know the agony they endured having to say goodbye, one final time. I am super thankful that I had the pleasure of knowing such a wonderful, wonderful man. But I hate this finality.

May you rest in peace, my friend. I will remember your smile and laughter ALWAYS.

Birthday and The Falls

Two more years 'til the dirty thirty.

I just celebrated my 28th birthday. I don't feel 28. I remember when I thought 28 was old. Now here I am and I don't feel like I'm pushing thirty at all! (except when I wake up in the morning and my arches ache and I drag ass.....) I understand what my dad means now when he says his age doesn't reflect at all how he feels. He still feels like a young man.

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I'm awaiting a second round of test results. When they said it might take six weeks to get the results via snail mail, I thought they were exaggerating. It's been almost four weeks now and nothing. I hold me breath every time I open the mailbox. I'm hoping and praying that I was successful in at LEAST one of the three tests but I'm trying not to have expectations. It's when you have expectations that you are disappointed.

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Curly Mop is going to see Auntie Karmyn tomorrow. My friends all pitched in to help order the UFC fight for my birthday so we are going to have a potluck style BBQ with some good grub and then watch a good fight. I figure my 5 year old doesn't need to watch two guys beat the hell out of each other, but I do. So she is going to have a sleepover with her cousins instead. She can't stop talking about feeding worms to the chickens and playing Feed the Kitty, her favorite board game, with Jammin and Buttercup.

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The Mister's work cut back his hours so money is super tight right now. (Thanks a lot, economy.) So when he and Curly Mop asked me what I wanted to do, I told them I wanted to hike Multnomah Falls. Even though I've lived in Portland for 8+ years, the Columbia Gorge and the Falls never get old. "Hike" is a relative term with a 5 year old, keep in mind, so basically we checked out the Falls, walked a few paths, and had bagel sandwiches for lunch. It was the absolute perfect day for it; not too cold, not too hot. There weren't too many people there, so it turned out to be a very pleasant afternoon. We got some good pictures, too. I'll share them with ya - and you better enjoy them because Lord only KNOWS when I will be posting again.
Love you all.




Multnomah Falls.


















My two loves.


















She's getting so big!! She loved all the little nooks and caves she could crawl into.





































There were so many beautiful flowers, tons of birds, and we even saw an adorable little chipmunk. He was too damn fast for me to catch a picture.






















She was scared to death on the bridge. She was holding on for dear life.


















And in case you are wondering which bridge I am talking about, it's this one. When you stand on it, you get sprinkled with the mist coming off the water. On this particular day, there was enough of a breeze that our hair was soaked by the time we crossed it. But we laughed and giggled our way across. It was warm enough that the mist felt great. Multnomah Falls is one of my favorite places EVER.

Silly

Just some fun stuff to make you smile.
Hope you are having a great day!













(Then wouldn't you go vegetarian?)




(Because Sexting is all the rage these days.....)








(For us ladies....)

SIGH.

Sometimes it doesn't even seem worth it anymore.

Yup.

YUP, THAT IS MY DAUGHTER. ANY CHANCE FOR A PHOTO OP.





YUP, THAT IS MY DAUGHTER. LOOKS JUST LIKE HER DAD.






YUP, THAT'S MY DAUGHTER. PLAYING MOMMY. (I opted NOT to share the picture of her "nursing" her stuffed Super Mario doll.......)







YUP. THAT IS MY DAUGHTER. TRYING TO BE BRAVE AT THE DENTIST.






YUP. THIS IS MY DAUGHTER WITH HER PET MICE. (I wish I had a picture of Mommy kickin' daddy's ass for bringing these suckers home.) SHE NAMED THEM SNOWBALL AND CHOCOLATE.




THIS IS MY DAUGHTER WITH HER GREAT GRANDPA MAC, WHO PASSED AWAY EARLIER THIS WEEK. WE'LL MISS YOU GRANDPA MAC! And we love you.

Spring Break '09

Spring Break, by Curly Mop

I went to the Oregon Coast for Spring Break. I celebrated a few days of fun and relaxing with Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie Karmyn and my cousins. It was cold and rainy, but that didn't stop us from enjoying family time!!




We went to the Oregon Coast Aquarium. My favorite part was the seahorses and the shark tank.







Myself, Jammin' and Buttercup played until we dropped. The big kids fought over who got to rock and comfort The Caboose, who wasn't feeling awesome. Sniffles and cough aside, he was as cute as could be and we all loved watching him smile at the fish in the aquarium.





We saw seals playing in the surf. We saw gulls circling where the D river meets the sea and we saw lots of starfish and anemones in the tide pools.





We absolutely LOVE the beach. I can't wait to go back.

The hottest new video!!

This is just plain awesome.

I'm gonna say this and then go to bed....

Just in case anyone was wondering............


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I took the Oregon state exams on Friday. My first (but not last) attempt at my Court Reporter's license. It was more a trial run than an attempt. I didn't know what to expect when I got there AND Oregon has the highest testing standards in the nation, so I wasn't putting too much pressure on myself to pass. It was an experience I will not soon forget. After six hours of straight adrenaline bombarding my body, I left the Justice Building in our state's capital feeling drunk and disoriented. (I was faring better than the woman who was hit by a car and left lying in the intersection by my car, though!) I have to wait upwards of six weeks for the results of my exams, but I plan on taking the National tests in May regardless of these results. So I have been MIA for the past few weeks because I've been preparing for the first of many important days in my new career.

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My friend Dee is 29 years old and fighting for his life for the third time. He was recently diagnosed with his third brain cancer, after having been in remission for the past several years. His decline has been rapid. We visited our hometown Valentine's Day weekend and spent some time with him. We saw him again today on his way home from a small, ocean-side "spiritual union" with his fiance (he will not marry her legally because he refuses to leave her with his medical debt) and it's amazing how fast he's failing. There is nothing worse than watching a young, vibrant, loving, funny, honest-to-god good person go through what D has gone through. He lost his mom a year ago to cancer and now he's fighting to save his own life. I can't imagine the pain and fear his family is experiencing.... well then again, I can. Dee's symptoms are strikingly similar to Jordan's before he lost his own fight against the disease. It's been hard for me to watch. The Mister is taking is pretty hard; him and Dee were best friends in high school and roomies for many years. If you can find a moment to, close your eyes and say a little prayer for my friend. Or send some positive thoughts and energy his way. At this point, I think we need all the help we can get.

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I'm fighting my own battles. But the previous blurb here puts my problems into perspective. I don't know if I've pinched a nerve or two.... or what is going on. But the left-hand side of my body HURTS. It started with my lower left back (which I chalked up to my February 2000 car accident), but then it spread to my knee and ankle, then ultimately to my wrist and left thumb. I don't know what is causing the pain, but it doesn't seem to be going away. It feels like I sprained one side of my body. Someone mentioned to me an anti-inflammatory diet; I think I'm going to look into that. Another day I wish I had health insurance.

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I've been dreaming vividly again. I have the ultimate love/hate relationship with my dreams. I love that I remember them so that I can psychoanalyze them, but sometimes I wake up and I don't want to go back to sleep. Some things are too real for my liking. What does it all mean?

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Oh, and I've suddenly developed a love affair with Jameson.

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Mom and Dad were in Portland this weekend for the annual Lawn and Garden show at the convention center. I wanted to take full advantage of having overnight babysitters, so The Mister and I used our free movie coupons and went to the Academy Theater to see Defiance. We both give it two thumbs UP! We thoroughly enjoyed the movie. We understand that it is made in Hollywood and much of the movie's details were fiction. But the story is based on a novel written by a descendant of three brothers who escaped with their lives after a German attack on their Jewish community in WWII. They retreat into the woods, where they meet other Jews who have fled. They begin their own little resistance against the Germans. And in case you want to see the movie, I won't spoil it for you. But I will say that despite the few nit-picky things that I inevitably found, the movie was well-written and directed and is worth seeing. I give it my personal recommendation, which says a lot because I am the ultimate movie critic. :)

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Mom has got me on a genealogy kick. More posts to come!

Peace and Love to my friends and family this Sunday evening. May something wonderful happen in each and every one of your lives this week.

My interview

My sister Karmyn interview me.
These are the questions and answers.

#1 - Music is a mainstay in your life. Who has been the most influential artist for you? Ani Difranco. No questions asked. (Ani Difranco - The Atom) Listen to it! Although, there are some close runner-ups, including Fiona Apple and The Judds.

#2 - When you complete school and earn your licenses, how do you plan on celebrating? Well, Mom and Dad said they'd throw me a party and have it catered by my favorite Thai restaurant. But after that, I think I'll rent out a private room at my favorite karaoke bar and invite everyone I know to come celebrate. Or maybe a huge BBQ with badminton and hacky sackin? Or maybe both!

#3 - CurlyMop will be starting Kindergarten next fall. What will you miss most about her baby years? What WON'T I miss? I think most of all, I will miss our mornings together. She brings her blanket and favorite animal and crawls in bed with me. We lay there for ten or fifteen minutes and chat. Sometimes we just snuggle and go back to sleep. When she starts school, we won't have the luxury of wasting that precious morning time.

#4 - Recently I was thinking about the changes our grandparents saw during our lifetime. What scientific and technological breakthroughs can you imagine we'll see when we are 80? I certainly hope that we've broken our dependence on fossil fuels! I don't think there will be flying cars, but if we pull our heads out of our asses, we might have cars that run on renewable energy! I think that virtual reality is going to explode; by the time my great-grandkids are my age, video games are going to be out-of-this-world realistic and it's going to scare the shit out of us old-timers.

#5 - What's your favorite ice cream? This is an unfair question, simply because I have different favorites depending on my mood. The longest running favorite is orange sherbet, but I mash it and mush and twist it until it is soft serve. Mmmmmmm. But I have a fondness for Fudge & Caramel, too.

Want me to interview YOU? Just ask!!

I'm alive.

I'm alive. And reading all of your blog postings. I don't always comment, but I am reading and enjoying.

I'm wrapped up in self-doubt over an impending state exam for my first court reporteing license; also engrossed in a transcription job I took from a friend. Making my own money for the first time in 4+ years! It's awesome. Unfortunately, the publisher is out of the country until the first week of February, so I haven't gotten paid yet. Counting down the days, though.....

I keep telling myself that I am going to write down and post all of the funny things that Curly Mop is saying... but life happens so fast, and she says so many hilarious things that I'm slacking. Four is a great age. Her favorite show is Imagination Movers and her favorite characters is Mario. She plays Mario and Luigi and Princess and Toadstool. Her arch enemy is Bowser; and she won't let anyone forget it.

Portland is cold and windy so we're spending a lot of time inside. Made myself and The Mister a screwdriver this evening and now we're watching UFC. Good night, world. I'm going to tell you all about the strange dreams I've been having, and I'm going to try to post some more music for you. Hope this blog finds you all in good health and happiness. WELCOME PRESIDENT OBAMA!